I am a girl that LOVES her birthday. However, the older I get the more I realize that it's not because I get presents or everyone sings to me. In fact, I am not one for being the center of attention. Surprise, surprise, right?! I honestly don't enjoy it. I'd much prefer my kids or husband be in the spotlight with me cheering them on. As I was saying, I've realized it's not about all of the other birthday stuff as much as it is a day of reflection for me. How did I grow this year? As a mom? As a wife? As a servant of Christ? In forgiveness? Maturity? Character? Wisdom? Knowledge of scriptures? Business person?
I look back on this...
And think...wow, she had no clue in 6th grade (yep, the same as my daughter) the ways God would bless her, grow her, and sustain her. This was when I thought I had the perfect family; Pastor's kid, a little sister, good grades, a Statewide Chorus participant, a Mom that adored me. I mean, what could be better than that, huh?! It's amazing how time changes so much, yet God's love never fails.
Then, I look at her! A freshmen in high school. A boyfriend on the football team and braces were about to come off. Little did I know 4 months from this picture, I would re-meet my knight in shining armor. She was a high school chick on the basketball team. Life was good, parent's were great, and I still had one of my best friends in most of my classes.
And now, there is the 16 year old! In that past year she had dealt with the death of one of her dearest friends, Rebecca. This death shook her to the core and because of that, she fell in love with her Savior all over again!
She also re-met this handsome thing! She started dating him in January of 1997 and by this point, she all but knew he was the one. She wrote letters and mailed them every day in hopes of getting one back sooner than later.
On to graduation Amy! Hehe! She was excited about life! I look at her smile and think, man...if she only knew how much her life was about to change. It was the summer after this picture that the handsome man by her side would ask her to be his wife! She, of course, said YES!
This next year also brought some heartache. Her parent's would separate, she would go through an extremely tough experience with her mother, and another tough personal experience. Through it all, God continued to provide. He comforted in some of the hardest moments and brought joy in the midst of major turmoil.
Well, as I am sure you know, wedding day Amy was full of joy! As I said, she had walked through some difficult moments that year, but on this day...HAPPINESS! She was hopeful of the days to come and she knew that as long as she trusted God and had this man beside her...it would all be ok!
New Mom! I remember this being one of the most happy and hopeful moments of my life, accompanied by one of the most painful situations of my life. Growing up as a girl, you dream! You dream of what your life will be like, what will happen when you have kids and all of the family is gathered around ohhhing and ahhhing over this life you've brought into the world. You dream of your mom coming to stay with you for a couple weeks to get you settled. This was not to be for me. Not only was I dealing with the fact that I wouldn't have that dream, I would cry and beg God to give my child, Rebeckah, that dream. I prayed over her every minute of every day for several months. I would rock her and pray. I would feed her and pray. I asked God over and over again to grow her into a wise and beautiful young lady that loved Him more than I could ever imagine. (By the way, he has honored that prayer!) I don't want to tell my whole story here, but I do want to say that I am a better mother because of all the situations God has walked me through. I love more, I pray more, I teach more, and I am much more willing to let silly things slide that really don't matter. I want them to look back at me as a woman of faith that loved God more than anything and their Daddy was second to that. I pray that's what they see!
A mommy to a boy is something I NEVER thought I'd be. I know it sounds crazy but I always imagined myself with girls. When this sweet little Caleb came into the world, my heart would never be the same. When people say boys belong to their mommy, they ain't lying! This boy changed my heart and my life. He has challenged me to be a better woman so he will seek a woman that will love and cherish him. He has also held a tender place in my heart. He is the child that I know needs my protection and defense more than the others. My life changed forever because of this boy!
And then this little monster surprised us all! After doctors told us it was medically impossible to have another child, God gave us a precious and funny miracle. I grieved after being told I couldn't have another baby. That was October of 2004. In February of 2005, I had lost all of my baby weight and moved on, allowing God to fill that void. Sure enough, Valentine's Day of 2005, we found out we would be having another baby. We were shocked, scared, and excited. He has truly brought laughter to our house and my soul. Everything he does is funny. We often joke we would be a boring family without our Avery! He brought laughter back to my heart and I thank God for him everyday!
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One of the last things that 6th grade girl never realized, was the ways that he would use her family for his call and purpose. God has blessed us with amazing church families. People who continue to love on us from a far away. We have been blessed to serve with such amazing people and to proclaim the great name of Jesus. I don't think she ever could have dreamt this up for her life or the life of her husband!
Here she stands today. She is the mom to three of the cutest kids in the world. They are smart, active, healthy, and fun to be around. Yes, they drive me crazy sometimes because they most definitely are not perfect. But, on those days, I just remember...I prayed for these babies and God has granted me what I've asked of him. It's pure joy to serve them and love them.
Then, there is the man next to me. I canNOT imagine my life without him beside me. He is my constant encourager, he loves me unconditionally, he has held me when I've been screaming out to God, he has held me and comforted me through loss, he has taught me to work hard and love others, he has shown me what character in the midst of a trial looks like, he builds me up, kisses me in front of our children, he holds my hand, and he prays for me along with many, many other things. Sixth grade Amy could have never imagined a dream for herself this wonderful.
It's been an extremely difficult road. There are only a few people that know my complete testimony of how God has redeemed me, saved me, and held me safely in his grip. Just know this...God will keep his promises! God will rescue those who seek after him. God will love you when you feel no one else does. God will sustain you. God will teach you. God will hold you. God will extend grace to you. God will save you! And boy am I thankful!
I don't ever want to go back, but instead I look forward with peace knowing he will continue to protect my family in the days and years to come! It's a good day to be 32!
For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.
But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
{2 Corinthians 2: 6-18}
